10.31.2008

what i wore today:



the goddamn rain has started. gross.

and you may ask, but where is your halloween spirit?

and my simple response, i'm a nudist on strike.

so there.

10.30.2008

i spent most of today on the campus
of the university of portland for
my interview with teach for america.
the interview process is pretty long
and includes a sample teaching lesson,
group discussion, individual problem
solving and a 45 minute personal
interview. overall, i think it
went really well. now is the fun
part: waiting. luckily, i’ll find
out the results in about two weeks.

now while the interview was all fine
and dandy, being on an unknown campus
was extremely strange and awkward.
my only reference point of american
university life is that of lewis &
clark college. i guess i had never
really realized what a, shall we say,
unique place it is. and university of
portland could not be more different.

all the students i saw were wearing
jeans and sweatshirts and there i
was dressed for the corner office.
the cafeteria service is run by the
same company as we have here at
lewis & clark, but there was nary a
cube of tofu nor a grain of quinoa
to be found. burgers and fries rule
the land. ESPN was playing obnoxiously
loud on the tv and i noticed that all
the tables of students were segregated
by sex {one second you’re sitting at
a cafeteria table together, the next
second you’re breaking 3 cardinal sins
back in your dorm bed}. i was
eavesdropping on the conversation
between two girls at the next table,
who by the way couldn’t have been any
older than me. the conversation went
something like this:
(girl 1): hi, oh my gosh i haven’t seen
you in like forever.
(girl 2 with MASSIVE ring on her finger): oh
i know, ever since i got married i haven’t
seen like, anyone.
(me): jaw hitting floor.
if you’ve been following my blog at all,
you will know how i felt about that little
tidbit.

so after a not so great lunch,
i headed to the library to get
some work done while i waited
for my personal interview. it
is pretty outdated and no macs
to be found, all pc {full
disclosure: i work on both but
MUCH prefer macs}. there also
weren’t any outlets that i could
find near a table, so it was book
only, no internet.

i will say that all the staff i
interacted with were extremely
polite and helpful. students
actually make eye contact and
smile and even say thank you
when you hold the door open.
this was a nice change, but
overall it was just strange
and slightly shocking.

i never ever ever thought
i would say this, but it kind
of made me miss lc.
what i will wear today:
{teach for america interview--eeks!}


10.29.2008

what i wore today:



and what i wore yesterday:

oh man the web comics have just
been spot on this week.

















secret vespers is a lovely little comic of
drawings or collage with a philosophical
and musing caption.
{click here for more}

i live for travel and personal change. my time
spent living in new york and france were
super intense but all too short experiences
that have changed me forever, each in their
own ways. now i haven't been anywhere
new for almost the entirety of 2008.
i'm really starting to get that itch to run off again...

10.27.2008

ha ha. look what i found:































i always seem to end up with inappropriate word makings.

more here.
what i wore today:


good god. i don't think i could dress
more portland if i tried.

oh and to catch up...

what i wore yesterday: uninteresting work clothes.

what i wore the day before that: ditto.

and what i wore the day before that: a hangover the size of wisconsin.

10.25.2008

current soundtrack:

the woods by ohbijou

i've been listening to this song on repeat for over
a week. perhaps it has something to do with my
sitting in the library working for 12 hours a day.
perhaps it has something to do with my lingering
desire to go get lost in the woods. perhaps it has
something to do with the long walks over crunchy
leaves i take before the sun comes up. perhaps i just
really like anything that comes out of vancouver.

perhaps it has something to do with the season.
because i grew up in a place that has very distinct
seasons, i tend to change with them, in a
very comforting way, like my body is ready
for the change. the music i listen to, the
colors i wear, the things that attract my
interest, the food that i crave all seem to
be strongly associated with the season in which
i find myself.

this natural rhythm has been pretty severely
interrupted since i left my home town and have
been moving every few months for the past three
and a half years. this fall is the first i've been in a
familiar place in nearly four years, and i'm loving it.

yesterday around dusk i went for a magical bike
ride. it has been so clear and crisp lately and i was
able to soak up the last few rays of sun when they
are at their most golden, as i slowly pedaled
along in an old cashmere sweater and fuzzy beanie.
the trees are all changing but at different rates so
some are still green and lush, others explosions
of fiery colors, still others stripped to their
skeletons as the leaves decompose on the
sidewalk leaving that great fall aroma lingering
in the air. i rode down by the park and saw older
couples out for an evening stroll, people out walking their
dogs and kids running home from soccer practice.
the ducks and geese were busying feeding in the
pond as huge swarms of blackbirds undulated above.

i rode just until the stars came out and the cold
started nipping at my nose. when i got home i had
a wonderful fall apple--crisp, juicy and sweet as ever.
then i made a nice, warm and hearty dinner of
spaghetti squash topped with a quick stew of
tomatoes and garbanzo beans with some warm
cornbread muffins on the side. it was a wonderful
slice of fall and a great reminder that life exists
outside of schoolwork and applications.

this baudelaire poem fits perfectly:

CORRESPONDANCES

la nature est un temple où de vivants piliers
laissent parfois sortir de confuses paroles
l’homme y passe à travers des forêts de symboles
qui l’observent avec des regards familiers.

comme de longs échos qui de loin se confondent
dans un ténébreuse et profonde unité,
vaste comme la nuit et comme la clarté,
les parfums, les couleurs et les sons se répondent.

il est des parfums frais comme des chairs d’enfants,
doux comme les hautbois, verts comme les prairies,
—et d’autres, corrompus, riches et triomphants,

ayant l’expansion des choses infinies,
comme l’ambre, le musc, le benjoin et l’encens,
qui chantent les transports de l’esprit et des sens.

(and for you stubborn non-francophones...
i like the imagery in this poem a lot
so here's the link to the english
but it's so much better in the original french)

10.23.2008

what i wore today:



what i wore yesterday:

four hours of sleep and the weight of the world.

10.21.2008

what i wore today:


and yes i use a pencil to hold up my hair
from time to time.

10.20.2008

what i wore today:


but my skirt is actually made from an old t-shirt
that i screen printed a yellow line drawing on one
side and my boots are much more authentic and
worn in than these, so basically my outfit was
way cooler.
for my sculpture class i recently made a self-
portrait in the form of a bust. i first sculpted
the head out of clay, trying to capture my
likeness. then i severely altered it, to align
more to the final concept i was working with.
then i created a waste mold out of plastic,
cracked the mold to release the clay, reformed
the mold, cast the head in hydrostone, then
chipped away the plaster waste mold. then
came the fun part: painting and decorating,
which basically means i went to town.
here's the final product:
























the final piece is much less a self portrait,
than a caricature based on a personal anecdote.
at this point in my life, marriage is the absolute
last thing on my to-do list. i know several people
my age and younger who are married, getting
married, or very close. some are even having
babies already. when i think of these people, i
start to feel like an old maid at the age of 21, which
is absurd i know. to me, being married at such a
young age, recalls images of Suzy homemaker and
stepford wives. women embodying extremely
stereotypical roles that feel very fake to me.
because of this, i tried to make the face appear
almost mask like, and very fake and mannequin-
esque. which is odd, because it looks obviously
fake, but it also looks like it may spring to life at
any moment.
























i also think about my life and the hundreds
of directions i am constantly going in, i see
that marriage is not going to realistically be
in the picture for many years, if ever. for
this reason, on the rear of the head, where
normally the spine would be noticeable,
there is an empty void because i feel for
me to willingly marry at this age, it would
require the surgical removal of my backbone.
























all of this was a way to explore my own
personal feelings about the subject. i mean
in no way to judge or condemn those who
have married at a young age. in that respect,
this piece is more of a self-portrait. but, it has
also made me think about the trends in my
generation. if i look at our parents, i think in
many ways, they are the first generation to
really break away from the nuclear family.
between astronomical divorce rates and a
longer life expectancy, marriages happen later
or dissolve earlier. because of this trend, i think
children who come out of this rupture, there are
two reactions. the first is to react to the lack of
a strong family structure by forcing the creation
of one's own family as soon as possible. the
second being a strong refusal to the institution
itself because of failures witnessed first hand.
i obviously fall into the second group, but not
because my parents marriage fell apart, but
because they both had the opportunity to do
many things on their own before settling down
to start a family.
























sorry about this super long and unedited
riff on a pretty simple project. just something
i've been thinking an awful lot about lately.

questions? comments? critiques?

10.17.2008

and finally some progress...



















from now until april 3, 2009 i will be creating my senior
thesis artwork. april 3 is the official opening at the gallery
on campus. it's a bit of a misconception because i'm actually
creating a large body of work, of which only small portions
will be shown. the overarching concept i'm working with is
that of ritualized sexualities. i've been looking at different
ways that various cultures and subcultures have imposed
structures or boundaries or rules on sexuality. for the first
piece that i'm working on, i'm exploring the ritual of marriage,
from a more or less historical standpoint. i'm building a tent.

























and i suppose i should have started off with the
fact that i have an extremely hard time explaining
a piece of art that i am going to do before i do it.
i have a perfectly clear image of the final product
in my head down to infinite details, but i so often
fail miserably at expressing that to others in word
form, before it is actually completed. it's a little
like trying to explain a tomato to someone who
had never seen or tasted one before. for the past
month and a half i have had to do this sort of
abstract explaining more than ever before and
it feels so great to now be finally producing
something and get the mental images out into
the physical objects. so these panels will be the
interior walls of the tent. i'm hoping to have this
piece completed in the next few weeks, but i
think i'll wait before i explain the rest, god forbid
my mental image doesn't really play out within
the logistics of a nine-foot tall tent.




















oh and it's also exciting that i've completely moved
away from fine art materials and i'm now working
with straight up latex house paint, premixed
colors and all.

goodbye painting, hello sculpture.
what i wore today:


now this isn't quite right, what i wore is
actually an old l.l. bean flannel nightgown
that i got at the bins, but the beauty of it
is that i all i had to do was throw on a
high waisted belt, some boots and funky
jewelry and it was instant hipster chic.
all while feeling like i never really got
out of bed. beautiful.
what i wore yesterday:

10.15.2008

what better to do on a crisp and unbelievably
sunny fall morning, than to venture to sauvie
island. i did just that with some
friends on saturday morning instead of
doing work. now i really regret it,
after having 12 hour days on monday and
tuesday, but it was a lot of fun.

first, we went on a hayride around
the pumpkin patch.






















then we shot the pumpkin sling shot.


















then we climbed the hay pyramid.






















then cut some dahlias and zinnias.






















and got some squash.























and the cut dahlias at home:
what i wore today:



and yesterday:



and the day before that:

10.11.2008

what i wore today:

10.10.2008

you know what else i wore today?
and for every day here forward?
a tattoo!

















that's right, i got my very first tattoo
today. it reads 'alis volat propiis' which means she
flies with her own wings in latin. i found the phrase
almost a year ago and really liked it. i found out
later that it happens to be the state motto of oregon,
but it's not really a testament to my oregon pride
(read: i hate getting wet in the rain and will be very
ready to vacate the state next spring).
but perhaps by happy coincidence, the state
re-adopted this motto the year i was born
(it was originally adopted when the state was
first trying to gain statehood and it was unclear
if that would be under u.s. or canadian
rule--yea anarchy).

anyways, it's on my inner left wrist and it is in my
own handwriting. i'm really happy with it and it
didn't hurt nearly as bad as i thought it would.
the artist, victoria, was super nice and professional.
she did a great job and i would definitely recommend
her.

i'd go into more detail about the personal
significance of the phrase, but i think the
meaning speaks for itself, and i try not
to get too personal on here.

and it was sunny today! fantastic.
what i wore today:

10.09.2008

i found this nifty wooden box
at the bins today:


















and my first thought was that
it would be great for storing
all my jewelry.


















now the more i look at it, i'm
pretty sure it's actually for
storing silver flatware.

but it works great and actually
has enough space for all my
stuff.

and it was only $4.
what i wore today:

10.08.2008

what i wore today:


the sun came out today. yea!
but it was really cold and this morning
when i left around 7 am there was some
eerie low fog twisting around the lampposts.
i'm actually kind of glad it's cooling down.
gives me more of an excuse to wear lots
of layers and scarves and hats.
nothing like being all bundled up for a
crisp, fall walk.

10.07.2008

what i wore today:

10.06.2008

what i wore today:


apparently i'm going through a brown phase.
also, in the collage above is the frye campus boot,
which i covet oh so much. mine are a chunkier
mid-90s version by candies i got at the goodwill,
which will have to do thanks to frye's astronomical
price tags. so i won't be doting those anytime soon,
especially since i walked out of my house before
sunrise this morning to discover my bike had been
stolen overnight.

awesome.

so i'll be busing it for a while and scouring the
neighborhood to see if anyone has left it lying around.
otherwise it may come to buying a new bike and
all the accessories i had on it (helmet, front and back
lights, cable lock, water bottle holder, hand pump and
convertible tool).

sometimes i just lose all faith in the human race.

anyways, lesson learned. if you have a bike,
document it well--take lots of descriptive photos
and write down the serial number if it has one.
if not, engrave some identifiable number (drivers'
license, etc.) on it, in TWO places in case the thief
is smart and files the first number off, they
probably won't assume there is another.
also, write your personal information on a note
card and roll it up in the seat shaft, as well as
between the tires and wheel well. this way if it
is stolen, you can easily file a police report with
plenty of identifying information that can prove
you own the bike. if you have the original sales
receipt that's even better. also, if you register
your bike through the lock company you bought
a lock from, they usually require a police report
to collect any claims from that registration.

but above all, lock up your bike religiously.
and never, never, never, ever leave it
unlocked outside, especially overnight.

lesson learned. a very hard lesson learned.

{bike tips via SFBMA--san francisco bike messenger assoc.}

10.05.2008

what i wore today:

it's getting to be that lovely time
of year where it just rains and mists
and dribbles and pours and mists
and spits ALL. DAY. LONG.
and by time of year i mean i
won't see the sun again for
another eight months or so.
great. must explain my obsessions
with sunny yellow, soft and fluffy
clothes, leather shoes and hot chai tea.

10.04.2008

over the past year or so i've become more
and more infatuated with the color yellow.
i have a yellow coat, yellow shirt, yellow
skirt, my new ipod is yellow, all the cases
i made for my gadgets are yellow, i made
a dress that is yellow and so on and so forth.
while i love the color, i've had to be careful so
that my worst nightmare {read: greatest
desire} of ending up in a head to toe yellow
outfit wouldn't happen. but last night it did.
























i'm wearing a cotton jersey 'convertible
dress' i made this summer following
instructions by rostitchery {via bits + bobbins}
it was really easy to make {save cutting
fabric into a near perfect circle}
and the dress is really comfortable
and easy to wear. i was also wearing
my lovely mustard coat i got from
h&m while living in france. on my feet
are some super cute shoes from old navy
that i scored a super deal on.

although the outfit kind of screams
at you, i think it turned out quite
nicely. and to think i used to not like
yellow.

now if only i had yellow shoes....
what i wore today:
what i wore yesterday:

10.02.2008

what i wore today:

hmmm must be fall and cloudy skies,
but for some reason i've been on a
neutral kick.
what i wore yesterday:

the shoes, the shirt and the earrings
are a little off, but you get the idea.