7.27.2007

moderob.

with the double edged sword of being lazy and bored i got sucked into taking a personality quiz. here are the results from personal dna:

{you can roll over the different colors to see what they represent}

7.26.2007

wathum.

yesterday i decided to go for a hike. since i'm not all that familiar with the wilderness areas around portland, especially in the summer, i researched some places online. my basic criteria were small, no fees, and primitive resources (i.e. no bathrooms or running water). i figured with these caveats i could find somewhere that is pristine, quiet, and empty. so i stumbled upon wathum lake campground which according to the public lands website consists of 6 fee-free hike in campsites along the lake shore with several trails leading off into the wilderness. so i headed out. after a narrowly missed head on collision driving up the one lane windy road to the parking lot, i guess we had both assumed and hoped that we would be the only ones up there seeing that it was the middle of the week, reminding myself of north westerners penchant for outdoor activities and the fact that it was the first truly sunny day in a while, i wasn't surprised to find the small parking lot almost full. i was also aggravated to find that a (perhaps newly) imposed fee was required: $5 for the day or $10 for overnight. i probably could have gotten away without paying it, but seeing that my car insurance just jumped $100 a month after a small accident and a very large speeding ticket in the past 6 months, the last thing i need is another ticket for something stupid like that. so i paid my fee, filled out my wilderness permit, tried to make sense of the crude map at the trail head, and was on my way. the small lake was gorgeous. i started winding my way along its shore then up the mountainside. the trail was fairly skinny and obviously not well traveled. it was lined with wild blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries which made nice snacks along the way. at one point i heard a deep, guttural growl from the side of the trail. due to the thick forest and my instinctual notion to get the hell out of there, i did not stand around long enough to see what it was. for all i know it could have been a large bug or a tree branch creaking, but my mind went straight to the thought of a very large, angry animal. so i briskly kept walking, claping loudly, whistling, and stopping every 10 or so steps to do a 360 degree scan of the area around me. from all my outdoor experience back home where many coyotes and bears roam freely i've learned to make yourself loud so the animal does not feel like it's being hunted, make yourself appear large and powerful to threaten the animal, and if attacked to play dead. all these things were rushing through my head, along with my racing heart beat, and the guilt in not researching the area more and failing to tell anyone exactly where i was going. luckily, i never saw anything and am alive and well to tell the tale. while i attribute it to my sense of adventure and strong desire to see the view from the top, some may think i'm just plain stupid, but i continued on. i ran into a group of elderly women hiking along and they told me to be careful, which didn't really sit well considering my recent incident. i just smiled and continued on. i eventually came to a fork in the trail and realized i had been on the pacific crest trail without even realizing it. luckily the other trail doubled back to the one i had intended to take. i ended up in a clearing near the top of the ridge but there were still many trees blocking the view. i was just about to give up and go back the way i came when i found another tiny trail leading farther up the ridge. i was richly rewarded with a great view of mt. hood, the lake below, the columbia river and gorge in the distance, and four other snow capped peaks i don't even know the names of. i successfully, and safely, made it back to the parking lot after taking a dip in the lake with the salamanders and crawdads and having a late lunch on a sunny rock. i ran back into the elderly ladies in the parking lot, one of whom had changed out of her hiking boots into high heels. i can only hope to be that spry when i'm her age. altogether, it was definitely worth the $5 and more.

7.21.2007

mélange et cambiar.

i need...i don't know what i need. a change maybe. or a really outrageous night of imbibing, dancing and lots of laughs. or a tattoo. or a road trip. or busting my ass building a huge canvas and slopping paint all over it. or picking flowers at midnight. or taking thousands of pictures of strange little things that no one remembers or notices. or a really long bike ride and picnic on a blindingly sunny afternoon. or climbing a mountain starting at the crack of dawn and not seeing a soul the entire way and then being too sore to walk for 3 days. or cooking a really great, fresh, gourmet meal and eating it outside as the sun goes down. or being surrounded by people who care little enough about what others think that they can love wildly and unconditionally. or find an amazing yet affordable apartment. or stop playing games and drop out of school and pursue my real dreams. since about a month into my first semester of college i've wondered why i am in school. what i really want to do doesn't require a degree from a stuffy university. it just requires guts and making a move (or several moves). i've had a really hard time feeling guilty for my privilege of attending a fairly prestigious (not to mention expensive) school just because i was born into an upper middle class, white family. so far, the best reasoning i've repeated to myself is that if i were to drop out of school, my admittance and scholarships would not be transferred to someone less fortunate (unfortunately our world doesn't work that way) so i might as well exploit my privilege for all it's worth then use my socially legitimizing piece of paper (degree) to make the changes i want to see in the world. but if i keep playing into the very social constructs i wish to destroy, what good am i actually doing? maybe society is just not to the point where i can fully go against the grain so i should accept some things the way they are and make the changes i can by manipulating the existing system without sacrificing my well being and 'success'. but if this is the continual attitude, how will things ever change? why should i manipulate the existing system when the possibility exists to create an entirely new system? this goes along with the 'i'll do it tomorrow' or 'someone else will do it' mentality than prevents progress. i am just so frustrated with the way the world works that i don't know what to do with myself or the world for that matter. since i've already invested (wasted) 2 years of my life and tens of thousands of dollars, i might as well see it through. then again, bill gates never graduated from college.

7.14.2007

wake me in 2008.

recent news just came out that 2 dispatchers ignored repeated calls reporting a forest fire in my home town of lake tahoe. apparently they told the first dozen people calling in that the smoke they saw was from a controlled burn and not to worry. this misinformation caused a ten minute delay in responding to the fire which ultimately destroyed over 250 homes and structures, cost millions to fight, and burned 1,300 acres of precious tahoe wilderness. who knows if an earlier response would have prevented the actual results but in such a treasured place that many people call home (or second home seeing that some 80% of homes in tahoe are rentals or vacation homes) one would think that any hint at a fire would be taken seriously, especially in such dry year (last winter's snow pack was only 26% of normal).

in other news , bush forbade former white house counsel, harriet miers from appearing to testify in front of congress for which she was subpoenaed. congress is now preparing to file for contempt of congress. this just a week after bush commuted scooter libby's sentence without ruling out the possibility for a full pardon. bush (or cheney, rather) is saying it's ok to break the law. i'll let you get away with it, i'll even force you to break the law. except for those dern terrrrrorists. they need to be stopped and we, as strong, patriotic americans, must do everything possible to stop them. by the way, iraq's prime minister said today that he has 'full confidence' that his country can reach a peaceful state without the u.s. we're just as evil as the terrorists. they don't like our ideas so they attack us. aren't we doing the same thing? with bush's disapproval rating up in the 70s, i'd say we should impeach him, but i don't think we'd be any better off with cheney in the full seat of power. i can only hope for a positive change in 2008. unfortunately, i'm not yet sure who is the proper person to do it.

7.09.2007

paris: the city of rude?

in recent attempts to make the french capital more friendly to the millions of visitors the economy depends on, the mayor has instituted a paris tourist day. the project placed welcome wagons at five of the most popular attractions. city officials passed out parisian water, orange juice, and pamphlets. they are encouraging citizens to be more open, polite, welcoming, and english proficient with the guests. they encouraged visitors to openly embrace the french lifestyle instead of 'heading to the first starbucks.' there are so many things i see wrong with this i'm not even sure where to begin. i guess asking why the fuck there are starbucks in paris is a good place to start. the corporate hounds don't do enough damage in this country so they feel the need to spread their wings to suffocate the rest of the world. starbucks may have decent coffee, but i can guarantee that a coffee at any small cafe would be ten times better, and served in a real cup instead of a paper one. wow, save the earth and have better coffee, what a concept. i have traveled throughout france and several other european countries and have found that the people are very polite, hospitable, and helpful. sure they may get frustrated dealing with stuck up, incompetent fools, but so does everyone else. also, why on earth should french people be expected to learn english? it is not their native language and there is nothing mentioned in the new campaign for foreigners to learn french before they arrive. i guess i forgot about {or was hoping it has disappeared} the great american elitist attitude that anyone who immigrates to this country better damn well learn english and likewise, anywhere we travel the countrymen best learn english in order to meet my every beck and call. how about tourists learn some of the language, culture, customs and politics before visiting so that they can get a taste of the foreign land instead of traveling thousands of miles just to have their usual triple grande no whip latte. besides, isn't exploring and embracing the unknown what travel is all about?

7.02.2007

pocket bible.

the other day a certain someone found it endearing that i happened to have my bible in my purse. this was a rare, if not the only time in recent memory that i felt truly respected and appreciated for my faith. i wasn't being thought of as stupid and a blind minion to what is in some minds, the most intellectually stifling scam of all time. i wasn't being forced to hold my tongue because i don't agree with every little detail or particular political leaning being preached. i wasn't killing the conversation by merely hinting at my spirituality. i wasn't being associated with the numerous wrong doings throughout history done in the name of God or religion. in actuality, discovering christianity has been one of the most complex, challenging processes i have ever pursued in my entire life. while some believers follow blindly and a few authority figures can easily lead their flock astray, i think to truly believe in Christ and applying his teachings to living is a personal decision that others cannot force upon you. it takes a strong will and deeply rooted belief to bear the many blows of criticism that are hurled at christianity. it is even more difficult when many prominent christians have failed to fully understand Christ's teachings of gentle love, understanding, and acceptance and therefore taint the rest of the world's perception. i can only hope that enough wise people are brave enough to speak up and reverse the fear and misgivings that are all too commonly associated with christianity.